Dennis Shevel I'm pretty sure if you've been dancing WCS for 15 years you've probably got a decent lead, and you also are more experienced than your wife with only 4 years of dancing. I'm just saying that you have more control over what you do than you have over what she does.

In my opinion, and you don't have to agree with it, I find it easier and more productive to fix myself than to fix someone else. If a lead/follow goes wrong, I look at my contribution to the problem first, before passing the blame to my partner.

But in your example you did the "perfect" lead. (I hope you've got that on film because I haven't seen very many of those.) So with this perfect lead, none of the fault can be put on you. So the problem lies 100% with your follower. But if I'm thinking about the same reverse whip as you are, I don't have any control of her left arm or what she does with it so I can't "lead" her or "force" her to put that arm where it belongs. She got that darn arm trapped under your right arm. She didn't do what she was supposed to do. It's her fault. Ok, you're right. She might be trying to do a turn, even though you did the perfect lead. What to do now? I suggest offering your left hand for her to take with her free right hand, then letting go with your right arm and freeing her trapped left arm. Then move on with no blaming and no hard feelings.

Just a suggestion. Not good or bad, not better or worse. Just a suggestion. If it gives you something to reflect on that's fine. If it's worthless, that's fine too. After all, it's just dancing.

Dennis Shevel That's ok. In dance like most everything there are no absolute rights or wrongs. Use what works and makes sense to you and throw away the rest. I hope you find a more suitable solution. Stay strong, Andy.

Emily, I also left a response for Dennis. I'm not big on these social platforms so I hope I did it correctly. Do you think my comments might be helpful or are they confusing?

I've been dancing (mostly Ballroom/Latin but also social WCS and others) many years, mostly competitive at a senior championship level but also socially. My thoughts on lead and follow are based on my experience and personality. I don't think of leading as me being the boss and telling my partner what to do. I don't even like the term "lead" because it sets a less than optimal expectation.

I try to suggest a step or pattern for my partner to start. I need a good active connection from my partner, but most of my lead is based on my body weight, body rotation or travel, and opening of doors for my partner to pass through. My lead is built into MY correct movement, not what I'm trying to force my partner to do. My partner almost always does what I've actually lead, not what I tried to lead. These are often 2 very different things.

Once my partner moves, I FOLLOW wherever my partner goes, and seek to find the connection I need to suggest the next movement I'd like my partner to execute.

I initiate or suggest, my partner responds, and I move with her whatever response that was (often not what I had planned) seeking the connection to make my next suggestion.

One way to practice paying attention to each other is to practice step patterns with similar beginnings but different endings. Try to get your partner to do the correct movements by doing your movements correctly. Remember, if your partner is paying attention, she will (almost) always do what you actually lead, not what you thought you lead. Sometimes this type of practice leads to you trying to trick your partner into doing something wrong. This is not the point. You want your partner to do what you want your partner to do, and this only happens by you doing your part correctly.

I hope this helps.

Andy.

Ps. I hope my wife doesn't read this answer because she'll expect me to follow my own advice which I don't always do.