If I’m hearing you right, if I provide a perfect lead for pattern “X” and my wife, for what ever reason thinks I’m asking her to do pattern “Y”, I should try to make it pattern “Y” even though it’s too late; i.e. I lead a reverse whip and she ignores my hand on her shoulder blade because she assumed I was leading an underarm turn. Now her left arm is at her side and under my arm. What would you do now to “follow “?

Sorry Andrew, but most of what you wrote makes little or no sense. It’s very disappointing Emily would say it makes “total sense”. I think maybe your inner self wants to be a Follow!